Funeral Detail - 29 September 2006

Published on October 2, 2006 By chiprj In Blogging

I volunteered for the funeral Friday at the Tuesday practice. I knew that my schedule between then and this coming Thursday would be pretty hectic with all the graduation ceremony preparations, so I figured I'd volunteer for a service when I knew there would be some space. That way, if any services happen this week, I can be safe in not participating without feeling like I'm not doing my fair share.

I called the funeral home on Tuesday to check all the information I had in email. There would be a church service at 1100 and then a service at the cemetery at about 1200. I confirmed that we would be at the cemetery and also was told that the flag would be prefolded. I asked the pool of volunteer service members on the firing team for a volunteer and got one. I talked him through the two man service and we set a time to meet on Friday. I knew I wouldn't be at the Thursday afternoon practice because I'd be waiting at the school for test results to be released for my class.

I guess on Thursday, the Airman that volunteered to come with me had something come up because when I got the van on Friday and showed up to the meeting place, there was a different Airman waiting for me. As we drove up, we talked through the two man ceremony again and I told him all the information I had. The cemetery was about 30 minutes away in Moss Landing and I have been there a number of times before, so we got there early and with no problem.

Once there, I checked out the grave site. The plot was right next to a building and the mound of dirt was on the other side of the hole from the building. The seats were actually set up next to the mound of dirt and a little uphill from the plot. It was an odd set up, but with the building right next to the plot, there wasn't much room to play with. It was also right next to one of the entrance gates to the cemetery, so I had to pick two places to stand and salute while the carriage pulled up. The flowers arrived after a short while and I was able to get some information from the man that brought them. One thing we found out was not prefolded and would be draped over the casket. So, I spent some of our waiting time trying to figure out how we'd get the flag folded and discussed it with the bugler. With the building on one side and the dirt mound on the other, there wasn't really any room to fold the flag on either side of the casket. I decided we'd pick the flag up and carry it uphill from the head of the casket and fold it directly in front of the front row of seats.

When the carriage arrived, there was some confusion with the traffic and it had to make a long detour around the cemetery. Once everything got sorted out and everything was in position, I was introduced to some members of the family, including the widow. I then took a position at the rear of the carriage and waited for the family to carry the casket to the grave. There was a short service at the grave and the priest presented a crucifix to the widow. He then moved off to the side and the funeral director motioned to me to move up. I had placed the bugler near the grave because the cemetery was right next to the highway and I wanted to make sure that it would be heard even if traffic picked up while he played. It all worked out and the bugle was neither too loud or too quiet and also gave the bugler only a short distance to walk to get to the other end of the casket.

We secured the flag and moved to where we would fold it. I nearly tripped over a grave marker but a pall bearer that was behind me helped guide me around it. The bugler ended up folding the flag uphill towards me. He forgot to do one thing I had talked to him about before hand. When folding the flag, the holder has to remain in one place and keep the flag held tight between himself and the folder so the flag turns out right. The folder has to pay attention to how the holder is holding the flag as he moves towards him. He stepped too far forward each time he stepped towards me and since I didn't have any room to back up, the flag became a bit loose between us. This ended up causing us to have too little material to do a good tuck at the end of the fold. It was really bad. In the past, I've seen six man folds be taken out and redone on the spot. Once I had to watch the team refold the flag a third time before it was right. I hate the idea of folding and unfolding the flag in front of the family, so unless I absolutely have to, I will never do that again. I did my best to tuck what little material I had left in and keep the flag from coming unfolded before I took the flag from the folder. I was then careful in keeping the fragile fold together as I presented the flag.

After the service, I made sure that we had a flag case in the van and went back down to the family. The funeral director caught up with me and thanked us for coming out. I told him that we were happy to be there and then asked if he thought I had time to get the flag from the family and case it. He said that it shouldn't be a problem and thought that it was a really nice gesture. I told him it was partly a nice gesture and partly a chance for me to fix the fold without having to unfold the flag in front of the family. When I got to the family, I asked if it would be ok for me to case the flag for them. They agreed and I told them I'd be back in a couple minutes. I headed back up to the van and had my bugler be the holder as I unfolded the flag about four folds and refolded it tighter. I then placed it in the case and took it back down to the family. I then thanked the widow and her son for allowing us the chance to be there and told her that the case was a small token from our base to their family.

When I got back to the van, we packed up and headed out. On the way back, I talked with the bugler about the folding and reminded him of how important it is to pay attention to your partner, not just when folding a flag but in everything that you do. If you're on a team, it helps to know what your team mates are doing while you're doing your thing. And if you don't allow them the chance to effectively help you, they might not be able to help you at all. Another lesson from the SSG chiprj big book of important things to know (or whatever I called it last time). Hopefully, he'll remember that lesson in a couple weeks time when he's one of my students and I'm trying to help him learn Korean.

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