If it's wrong, I've probably said it...
P-Ro becomes Kirk, and I'm Scotty
Published on July 11, 2004 By chiprj In Blogging
PT III

We left behind three rucks and our antenna. We found out in the morning that the parachute had caught on the antenna and broken two of the elements off. We set off (towards the drop zone!) to find our OC. Ironically, our OC was fast asleep in the back of his truck, just meters away from the edge of the drop zone. We told him what happened. He told us to head down the road back to the TOC and let them know what happened.

We headed down the road. The whole way, Church was still talking. He just kept going. P-Ro was arguing with our higher headquarters on the radio. Apparently, the commander had been informed of what happened but still wanted us to collect up all our gear before going to the TOC. P-Ro sounded like William Shatner on the radio, "I'm NOT going to risk my men's lives on four poncho liners!" When we got to where I thought we should turn into the tree line to get to the TOC, I told P-Ro. He wasn't convinced, so we kept walking. This irritated Frydaddy, since he was the only one carrying a ruck.

After a while we stopped and tried to figure out where we were. P-Ro took the GPS from me and tried to get it to give a grid coordinate for our location. But the impact had jarred loose the temporary connector we had rigged to make the battery connector function. He handed it back to me in disgust and told me to get it to work. Now the old PLGR GPS systems were flat green boxes with small screens, very similar in size and shape to the old Star Trek tricorder that Mr. Spock carried and since P-Ro already had me in a CPT Kirk frame of mind, I remember doing my best Scotty impression (which really isn't all that good). "But, CPT, I canna change the laws of physics!"

We headed back up the road and turned in at the right point. We moved slowly up to the perimeter and successfully exchanged the challenge and password with the .50 cal gunner. Church immediately launched into a breathless explanation of what happened. Finally, he had an audience that hadn't already heard it three times.

We collected Church up (much to the relief of the guard) and moved to the TOC tent. There, the entire TOC staff surrounded us as P-Ro, with the unneeded help of Church, related the situation. No one could believe what happened. The best moment came towards the end, when Frydaddy had another shining comment. Infantry battalions will usually have personnel from the Air Force assigned for the purpose of coordinating close air support. There was a CPT from the Air Force working that night and when the story was over and everyone sat mulling P-Ro's words, Frydaddy approached the CPT and said, "Hey, sir, I thought the Air Force got it's quota of soldiers in the Gulf War." The CPT's reaction made it even funnier. I could barely contain my laughter.

We asked if there was a place we could rack out until daylight. Our OC planned to take us up to the site in his truck to pick up our gear the next morning, so we just wanted to get in a few hours sleep until then. It was still extremely cold outside, so we hoped they had a warm tent somewhere. Well, the only space they had was right there in the well-lit, very crowded TOC tent. They showed us a corner that was about the size of a card table and told us we could sleep there. I didn't look forward to cramming four bodies with the equipment we did have on hand into that little space, so I asked the S2 NCO if I could borrow his sleeping bag. He took me outside to his truck and I was able to lie down next to it in his bag. Unfortunately, Church found out that the guy had a Space Blanket and he came out and lay down next to me. He kept talking! After a while, the Space Blanket wasn't enough to keep him warm, so he went back inside and I was able to slip off into sleep.


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