If it's wrong, I've probably said it...
Published on August 1, 2004 By chiprj In Humor
I've known a lot of people that fit this mold. There are many points here that I like to think fit me...

MILITARY HUMOR: REAL SERGEANTS:
1. Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
2. Have a spine.
3. Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument.
4. Can see in the Dark.
5. Have eyes in the back of their heads.
6. Still don't trust the Russians.
7. Still hate the French.
8. Don't know how to be politically correct.
9. Don't give a damn about being politically correct.
10. Think that "politically correct" should fall under S### in the UCMJ.
11. Love deployments because there is less paperwork and more "real work."
12. Can run 5 miles with a hangover.
13. Do not fear women in the military.
14. Would like to date G. I. Jane.
15. Still know how to use a buffer.
16. Can tell you anything you want to know about an M1911A1 although they are no longer in the inventory.
17. Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
18. Believe that "Nuts" wasn't all that Brigadier General McAuliffe said to the Germans at Bastogne.
19. Don't know how to use a "stress card".
20. Idolize John Wayne.
21. Don't believe that AAFES really needs a "commander".
22. Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned.
23. Really don't like taking S### from those who haven't "been there".
24. Know how to properly construct a field latrine.
25. Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their butts kicked. Twice.
26. Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably don't have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.
27. Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP 4.
28. Don't believe a darn thing the Iraqis say.
29. Don't need a GPS to find themselves.
30. Have enough BDU's in their closet to start a surplus store.
31. Think that MRE's taste good (with a little hot sauce).
32. Are convinced that "wall-to-wall" counseling really works.
33. Have more time on the front-line than most others have in the chow line.
34. Know how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.
35. Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it.
36. Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16.
37. Know that inept leaders will always say they have inept soldiers.

Comments
on Aug 01, 2004
36. Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16. Even though they wish for the return of the old M-1 and the BAR.
on Aug 01, 2004
You have, by far, the most bizarre yet interesting blog I have read. Not to go around my hubby or anything.....cause his is really cool, too, but he tends to talk a lot of politics and compupter stuff, and I just dont jive with that kind of stuff. You, on the other hand, talk a lot of military stuff, and that I do understand. Insightful heading your way, pal.
on Aug 01, 2004

I'm copying this and sending it to my husband.....


..you can add another insightful to your score as well.

on Aug 01, 2004
36. Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16. Even though they wish for the return of the old M-1 and the BAR.


That's another one that's before my time. I have fired the M-16A1's, but that's as far back as I go.

EL - Thanks. I like to think that I make good at being a REAL SERGEANT. But I also must admit that I am a bit of a TED. I love the Army and that's why it occupies so much space here for me. This was a cut and paste job that I got in email a few years ago, but it's something I think about quite often. What got me to finally dig this out was grey's articles on promotions here Link and here Link. Been a while since he actually posted them, but sometimes it takes me time to find stuff in my mydocs folder.

dharma - Thank you, too.
on Aug 03, 2004
can you check out my rough draft story and provide some feedback? it's based on a true story of a sergeant who made one of his soldiers shoot a woman and a child because "he was bored and thought it would be fun"

i'm trying to give an somewhat accurate picture of war life...but i'm limited by my measly one year of experience in AFROTC (can it get any more inaccurate?)
on Aug 03, 2004

it's based on a true story of a sergeant who made one of his soldiers shoot a woman and a child because "he was bored and thought it would be fun"

i'm trying to give an somewhat accurate picture of war life...but i'm limited by my measly one year of experience in AFROTC (can it get any more inaccurate?)

 

Then how about telling the story of 99% of the other soldiers who didn't committ atrocities? That would be an accurate picture of war life.

on Aug 03, 2004

Hey, Chiprj...I passed this on to my other half, and he passed it on to a few folks in his squadron...he said to tell you he thought it was really quite good.