Stupid Army Tricks and Such
So, back to the workplace jokes. I already wrote about taking advantage of people that leave their computer unlocked here Link. Here are some of my other favorites from my last workplace - SUSLAK.
If lighting isn't too good in the office, you can use scotch tape on a filing cabinet or desk drawer. It's pretty easy to get around, once it's discovered (a sharp nail or pair of scissors cut through instantly) but it's annoying to peel all the little pieces of tape off. Can be done with superglue, too, but that's a little less fun and a little more mean. Also, one step further would be to Clerks the lock on the drawer and jam gum into it. That one has to be saved for someone you really don't like.
In our workplace, we worked shift and shared a desk and computer with the other shiftworkers. Each team had a filing cabinet drawer to keep their stuff and most teams put something on the face of the drawer to personalize it. Team two had pictures of baseball players, so one night, I made up little comic book speech balloons and taped them up next to the players. I also added a player that I knew both team two guys couldn't stand and gave him a speech balloon. All the balloons said something about the ball player or team two guys being gay. Because of the the work schedule, the balloons stayed up for everyone to see before team two came back to work.
Another popular trick (and this is a common one in the Army) is to spur someone. You take little pieces of paper, drawer and cut out spurs, and attach them to someone's boots. It's best if you can do it while they are wearing the boots. They'll walk around all day never looking down to see them. Once, we managed to go an entire shift 12-hour with a guy not knowing. The whole time, we took turns making 'ching, ching' noises whenever he walked around. He didn't figure it out until he changed to go home that night. You score big time points if you can do this to a VIP when they come to visit.
We wore picture badges at work and it was always great fun to find someone had left their badge lying around. A popular trick was to scan the picture and manipulate it somehow. One of the best was when a guys picture got cut and paste onto a buddha. They printed it out, framed it, and hung it over his desk before he knew the badge was gone. A buddy recently PCS'd out of Korea and when he passed through Monterey to visit, he got my address and mailed me the picture and frame. I took it into the schoolhouse and with the help of his officemate, hung it in the hallway near his classrooms so his students would see it.
A guy once left his wallet in the locker room. Instead of giving it back to him, one of the guys gave it to me. I sat across from him on the bus and when he realized that he had forgotten it (halfway home on the 45 minute drive), I even helpfully lent him my phone so he could call to work and ask someone to look for it. They sent out an office-wide email so people would keep an eye out for it. When we got close to base, I told him I'd lend him my ID card, since I had an old MARC card that looked very similar to the new ID's. I told him that since the gate guards never looked close at the pictures, he'd be able to get in with my card. Just before we entered the base, I handed him his own ID card. It took him a few minutes to realize what I had done.
Well, that's it for this article.
Next time: Freezing stuff, what smells like shoe polish, and a joke on me that worked out in my favor.