I found out about yesterdays funeral last Friday night when the NCOIC, SFC C, called me to tell me about it. It would just be a two-man ceremony but we would be required to fold a flag at this one. He told me that he planned to contact one of our Sailors who had been on the detail for a while and quite a bit of experience (more funerals than SFC C and myself combined). He asked what time I'd like to leave and if I'd like to get a practice folding in before I left on Monday. I gave him a time and told him that I would want to practice the flag folding with the Sailor before departing.
On Monday morning, I met the Sailor and we practiced folding the flag once with gloves. We usually use him during full honors funerals as a folder, so I was comfortable after just one practice. We decided that instead of verbal commands, we'd just use head nods for all of our movements. I think that these ceremonies look (and sound?) better if they are carried out in silence.
We arrived at the cemetery at 0920. The original email said that the church service would begin at 0930 and that the internment would start sometime around 1000. When we got on site, one of the cemetery employees showed us to the crypt and described the route the casket would take upon arrival. The final site was an outdoor vault that had a nice, grassy area and many stone benches. After a couple of minutes, I picked a good place for my partner to 'play' the bugle and then we discussed how and where we would fold the flag under a variety of circumstances (where the people were standing, how the casket was placed, etc). I have learned that each funeral is unique in respect to the problems/difficulties that can present themselves. We planned as best as we could and I finished by saying that if something unexpected should happen, to just follow my lead as best as he could.
After that, we waited by the road for the vehicles to arrive. We ended up waiting about an hour, but anyone that knows me knows that I can fill up an hour pretty easily with stories about anything and everything. That's one of the benefits of being an NCO in a situation like that. You can pretty much fill up the time with the sound of your own voice and the junior party has little choice but to listen and answer with the occasional 'Yes, SGT' or 'No, SGT'. I don't think it was that bad, really. This Sailor was actually a little older than the average student we have here and he also had five years active duty in the Air Force from a few years ago, so we just talked about where we've worked before and such.
We took positions as soon as we saw the vehicles pull into the cemetery. This cemetery had a little wheeled contraption that could be used by the pall bearers to move the casket without actually having to carry it. It also had a raising and lowering device, so it could be used to move a casket up or down, depending on the level of the vault. The bearers carried the casket head first (wrong way) so I had to follow the feet. When we got to the vault, there was no room between the casket, bearers, and stone benches to get to the head of the casket right away. While the bearers were moving out of the way, I was introduced to the widow. Afther the pall bearers moved, the priest had taken up position where I needed to go to salute, so I moved to a position behind him and just waited. He had already started his prayers and blessing of the casket and vault, so I waited.
A few people came up to talk. This, to me, is one of the biggest honors of these ceremonies. To me, listening to the stories is my way of getting to know a little about the person. At first, I thought that paying attention to what was said would make everything harder, and it does a little, but oddly, I also feel much better knowing something about the person. That sounds kind of contradictory, I know, but it's true.
After everyone finished speaking, the widow came forward and with the help of the priest, blessed the casket with holy water. Then everyone moved back and looked at me to make the next move. Usually, at this point someone will make mention that the military would pay honors, but this time, they just looked at me. I hesitated just a moment to make sure that no one else was going to act.
I moved forward and rendered a salute. The bugler played taps. One difficulty that came up was that we were told everyone would sit on one side of the area, but they chose to stand on every side, so they never saw the Sailor march up behind them after taps. They continued to look at me while I waited. The funeral home man had to ask them to move so my partner could get through. When he got to his end of the casket, we secured the flag, sidestepped once to the right, and folded the flag. The folding went well and I think the silent folding worked well.
I presented the flag to the widow and she thanked me. Again, I am amazed and touched by the strength and compassion shown by someone who is in grief. A short time later, we followed the priest out and departed.