and yet more work place fun
OK, so another installment of workplace fun.
What smells like shoe polish? OK, so the same guy we hit with the frozen rank and quest to find said rank was also our target for the shoe polish. We had two phones where we worked. A red (secure) phone and a black (unsecure) phone. I think you can see where this is going. We spread shoe polish all over the transmitter and reciever on the black phone. Then I drew the short straw to be the guy that had to brief our 'mark' while the rest of the crew huddled at the edge of the watch office's window, watching while they called from the WO's black phone. We turned the volume on the phone all the way down, so when he answered the phone, he had to press it real hard up to his face to hear the person on the other end. It talk all my willpower not to even crack a smile and attempt to keep going with the brief while looking at him with shoe polish all over his ear, cheek, and chin. I finally lost it when he asked, 'what smells like shoe polish?' I laughed so hard, that I cried.
A good variation for this trick (if you don't have a black phone) is to use neutral colored shoe polish or vaseline. You don't get as much of a visual effect, but you still get a mess.
Another trick that our WO did was to bring in a sewing kit and sew the sleeves of a shirt or legs of trousers shut. Just a quick, single stitch at the cuff where there's already a stitch line. You get your arm or leg nearly through the cloth and then, nothing. Really funny to see someone dancing around not understanding why they can't get their foot through.
Another one that he did was to take a 'US ARMY' name tape and sew it onto a Marines uniform over the 'USMC' name tape. He did that to a Marine and we left for the day. During the bus ride home, I called back to our shop and told one of my buddys to go check the uniform of his newest 'Soldier' and to have him 'fix' his rank and roll his sleeves the 'right' way. My buddy called back later and told me that the shop had a good laugh over that one.
A buddy once left his desk unlocked over a four day break. I took the oppurtunity to bring in a big bag of starch packing peanuts and I completely filled his desk up with them. I then sent him a long email that basically outlined the differences between the old foam peanuts and the new starch peanuts. I knew that when he got to work, the first thing he'd do would be to check email. I thought it'd be really funny for him to read my email and wonder why I'd send such a thing 'for no apparent reason'.
For a couple of months before I left, I hinted around the office that I'd come in on a mid shift when I wasn't scheduled and to a little joke I read about in Maxim. I said that I'd fill up hundreds of paper cups with water and line them up on the floor in our day shop.
I never got around to doing it, but a friend decided to vary the joke a little and play it on me. She came in on a mid and made over 200 paper cups of jello (probaly 5-6 different flavors). She then stacked them up in a 4 ft pyramid on my desk. Under all of that, she had cut out construction paper letters and spelled 'There's always room for Jell-o!' under the plastic sheet on my desk. It was pretty awesome to see and very funny, I thought. Especially, since this made me the hero of the day. I got a box and stacked a bunch of the jello in it. Then, like the jell-o angel (what, you can have a tooth fairy, an easter bunny, and a gummi bear, but you've never heard of the jello angel?) I went all over the building and delivered jello to the adoring masses. I then took the remaining cups of jello to the break room fridge and sent out a work wide email advertising the free jello I was providing as a going away gift to them. I was the hero of Pangyo!
Next time: (I know, you're saying there's more, how can there possibly be more? When will he stop? When will it be over?) More stupid Army tricks!