I miss being able to run. I was on the Track and the Cross Country teams in high school. I wasn't great, but I was good. During my senior year, I ran 17:24 on a 3-mile course during the cross country season. At my last track meet before I graduated I ran the mile in 4:57 and an hour later I ran the 2-mile in 10:52. Neither time qualified me to move on to the regional track meet, but they were my personal bests.
I was a pace runner. I never sped up or slowed down greatly during a race, although I did generally speed up over the course of a race. I just set a pace and kept at it. I actually got the nickname 'cruise control' because of this. I was considered an anchor for the team, never the fastest, but always the most consistent.
My secret was 'the monster' When I ran fast enough, my mind would clear and I'd see nothing but the road and the next runner ahead of me. I could actually feel myself slip into this mode. It would feel as if something was rising inside me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I would literally forget about everything around me. I'd get a look in my eyes that my teammates would call 'scary' or 'crazy'. The monster would eat up the distance to the next runner and then pass strongly. In a race, you don't just pass someone; you pass them and let them know that they will never catch up to you again. There's a lot of psychology in racing and the monster was into psyching out the competition.
It wasn't a runner's high. I got those, too, but never during a race. I'd usually get runner's highs during training, although, sometimes the monster would come when I was out running with guys from the team. I could also go into the mode if I wanted to. I would call it summoning the monster.
These days, I can't run very well. My fastest PT test time is 12:40, I think, and that was 10 years ago. Ever since my back injury, running has been hit or miss. I even have a permanent doctor's note that says I don't have to run any faster or farther than I feel like. I could pass the 2-mile event if I took the test on a good day, but because I have limited control over how much my back is going to hurt, I am exempt from that event. My PT test now is the 2.5-mile walk. I kick ass in the event. My most recent time was 26:57. I've never met anyone that could walk it faster. The day I took that test, the runners started 30 seconds ahead of the walkers. Not only did I catch two of the runners, but also I lapped one of them on the quarter mile track, TWICE! The 1SG was pissed as hell at the second runner I caught up to. It was right at the 1.75-mile mark when I caught him. I think they kicked that guy out of the Army shortly after that. He was on his way out anyway, but failing that PT test was the last straw.
I miss the monster. When I do get out running, I actually feel a sense of loss when I can't summon the monster. Not only would it help in catching and passing people in a race, but also it was actually easier to run with the monster. I wouldn't feel the fatigue until I was done and the time would pass quickly. These days, I can't even summon it when I'm walking.
I think it left me because I'm so slow now.
On a semi-related note to all the military readers. I passed my most recent PT test, but I'm willing to bet you probably can't guess my score.