Now that I think about it
Tomorrow, 5 Oct 2004, will be 12 years in the Army for me. Sometimes, I can't believe it's been that long. The time seems to have flown by in a blur at times. It's incredible that I packed in so much in that time. I've been stationed in two countries (that counts the US - sometimes Hawaii seemed foreign) and been to three others in the line of duty.
And sometimes, when I wake up, I know exactly how old I am and how long I've been in. There are days when it's an effort to get my socks on, let alone lace up my boots. It's been over four years since my injury, which happened in a truly freak moment. It was a long four months waiting to get a diagnosis (other than, chronic lower back pain) for exactly what was wrong with me. Later, I'd say one of the longest days I've ever experienced was my last ambulance ride, after reinjuring my back. I'll definetely have to share that story sometime. It's not everyday the entire battalion sees you wheeled out on a stretcher, tied down to a back board.
I am one of those crusty, old Soldiers that literally has more time in the field than most of my students have in the Army (six years and two tours to a light infantry division will do that). And yet, I still feel my youth despite being 15 years older than many of them.
The Army has not made me bitter, like it has many Soldiers. I don't know why this is, but I suspect it has to be with my subscribing to the philosophy of Semper Gumbi (Always Flexible), even when it requires me to bend over and take it sideways sometimes. I'm a realist (I think) and understand that sometimes (many times?) the good of the Army outweighs the good of the me. It saddens me to see Soldiers who become bitter and jaded over their experiences in the Army. And it pisses me off when some of them become that way for little or no reason. It's one thing to take in in the keister, and another to be held to a standard, commitment, or expectation that was forewarned.
It bothers me that the Army feels the need to teach me basic values. It pisses me off to see concrete examples for why it is necessary. It says a lot about our country, I think, that loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honesty, integrity, and personal courage need to be taught to young adults AFTER they have left home. And yet, I would be hard pressed to think of a time when a Soldier passed up an oppurtunity to help someone in need. In Korea, many of my friends made regular trips to an orphanage to help improve the area and to just play with the children. In Hawaii, volunteers from our unit would read to children at the elementary school. Our unit here takes part in more activities than I can list.
The greatest compliment I've ever received since being in came on the day I was promoted to SGT. Right after pinning me, my squad leader turned to the formation and told the entire company that I was going to make a difference. He told them that I would change the Army and make it better. That has stuck with me since that day, 1 Jan 96. To this day, that has been a saying of mine. Soldiers make a difference. It's definetely something I have tried to live up to.
Honestly, I'm never going to be the Army Chief of Staff. I'll never introduce a new hat or boots. I'm not likely ever to establish doctrine (although, I did help write a technical checklist and training program that became part of the official manual for that piece of equipment Army wide, or so I was told).
But, I think I have made a difference in other ways that matter. I've had the oppurtunity to help mentor truly great Soldiers. Soldiers that have since been promoted from three grades junior to me to be my peer, or even senior in rank. I've helped keep lives safe during training and I've trained Soldiers to keep them alive in real combat. I've worked 'real world' missions. And today, I get to teach not only Korean to the newest generation of Soldiers, but also, I get to teach them my love for the Army.
That's right. I love the Army. I'm proud to be a Soldier. And while I'm sure there will be plenty of times in the future that I pray retirement to get here NOW, today, I'm just happy to have made it this far.