If it's wrong, I've probably said it...
How it began and odd ways of getting my fix
Published on October 26, 2004 By chiprj In Blogging
I wasn't always a coffee drinker. I fought the demon for years during my early Army days. Coffee drinkers couldn't understand my lack of desire to drink coffee, just like I no longer understand how someone could not drink it. Of course, I go one step further and can't understand how anyone could add cream and sugar to something so perfect as coffee, but I digress...

I first started drinking coffee when I attended the Primary Leadership Development Course (PLDC) in 1995. That is a course that is related to a Soldier's promotion to SGT. The course was held out at the NCO Academy aka: The East Range Correctional Facility and was a stay in their barracks away from the prying eyes of civilization type course. I was warned before attending the course that the days were often filled with hours of classes that would put a spastic child to sleep and that getting stuff brought to me on the inside would be harder than getting a file to a prisoner. I took two rolls of quarters to feed to the Coke machine, thinking that would be enough. Within a couple days, I was on the short stack of my second roll. I realized at that point that cofffee was free. Well, not technically free, someone had bought it, but it was made everyday in our classroom and everyone was welcome to drink it. The only rule was if you killed the joe, you made some moe. I also realized that cream and sugar were not free. There was effort involved - you had to remember to pocket a few packets at breakfast and bring them to class. That was too much for me, so I only drank it black.

Coffee kept me going throughout the classroom hours of PLDC. I drank a lot of coffee. I learned that a benefit of drinking a lot of coffee was that the need to urinate is another powerful motivator to stay awake. When we did our 3 day field problem, coffee became a great help in my being able to function despite only getting about 6 hours of sleep. Total.

When I graduated and moved back to my normal barracks, it wasn't long before I had my own Mr. Coffee. I even became a bit of a coffee snob and bought a bean grinder and joined the Gloria Jeans 'if you spend a lot of money here, we'll occasionally give you a dollar off our crazy expensive coffee beans' program. We had coffee time in the barracks on some weekend morning where we'd get together and share different brews. I was quickly becoming a coffee nerd, and junkie.

When I moved to Korea, I started working a lot of nights. I kept up with the beans thing, but had to settle for whatever the commissary carried. I would take a thermos (full-pot sized) up on every flight and would bring it back empty. The only night I ever came close to getting airsick was the night I took up some Chocolate-Raspberry brew. That was the last time I ever used those beans and they may still be in the barracks common room fridge to this day.

After I moved back to Hawaii, my wife and I settled in on a regular brew of Kona coffee. Not the really expensive 100% Kona, but the stuff that comes in the white bags and is at leat 10%. We'd still get the flavored beans sometimes. She likes the Hazelnut and I like the Irish Cream, but we started steering more often towards the regular roasts. Later, we moved to the ground coffee. Grinding beans daily got to be a hassle and delayed our coffee drinking significantly (15-20 seconds)!

Today, we usually buy the super sized can of Folgers at Costco. We still like the occasional Kona or whole bean coffee, but for everyday use, I recommend it. It works.

Now, what got me going on this in the first place was that I was thinking of some of the odd ways, over the years, I have gotten my coffee fix. Here are just a couple-

I drink coffee in the shower. I don't mean that I take a cup into the bathroom and put it on the sink so I can have it right after I get out. I mean, I take it into the shower with me. I put the cup on a shelf and drink it between lather, rinse, repeats. I did it a lot in Korea because we had a high shelf that was safe from soap splashage. Here, I have no such shelf, so I have to be very careful or else I get dial flavored coffee. I've actually thought about using my travel mug. That would keep out the water.

In the field, I've used the MRE coffee to stay awake. I don't mean, I've heated up some water and added in the instant folgers crystals. I mean, I've taken the packet and poured it into the space between my lip and gums. Like a coffee dip. In the field, a lot of guys use dip to stay awake, but since I don't use tobacco products, I use instant coffee instead. I put it there and let the crystals dissolve and swallow the coffee flavored spit. Mmmm-mmm-good! And it gets you wired.

So, what about you? Any odd ways to get your fix?

Comments (Page 1)
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on Oct 26, 2004

drink coffee in the shower. I don't mean that I take a cup into the bathroom and put it on the sink so I can have it right after I get out. I mean, I take it into the shower with me. I put the cup on a shelf and drink it between lather, rinse, repeats. I

Now that's the mark of a true addict....

I'm not that bad, but I HAVE to have my coffee in the morning.  HAVE to.  No coffee in the a.m. makes Dharma not nice to be around all day (Dave interrupts here to say it's not 'not nice' it's 'fucking bitch' - and he's right.  I am.) Substituting soda or tea for coffee doesn't work.  It has to be coffee.

I drink mine straight and sweet.  No creamer or milk, no artifical girly-flavoring...black, with 2 sugars.  I grind my own beans occasionally, but most of the time I use Folgers...I especially like that they have different roasts now.  I use the darkest roast...a few weeks ago I ran out and ended up using some Maxwell House...it tasted so weak to me that i added some instant to make it 'beefier', more palatable.

I love coffee, and that's all there is to it!!

on Oct 26, 2004
I have to have at least one cup a day or else I get headaches as a withdrawal symptom. When I go travelling, I usually bring coffee sweets, just in case I can't get a cup in the morning.

When I started drinking coffee, I drank it up through a straw because I wasn't used to the bitterness. I first started drinking coffee because I was staying up late to study.

on Oct 26, 2004
(Dave interrupts here to say it's not 'not nice' it's 'fucking bitch' - and he's right. I am.)


HAHAHA!!! Sounds like my house...

Substituting soda or tea for coffee doesn't work. It has to be coffee.


I know how that is. Sometimes, I'll have a single cup and then feel like moving on to something else to drink, but I always want to start with coffee.

...it tasted so weak to me that i added some instant to make it 'beefier', more palatable.


That's awesome! I've been known to run the coffee back through the basket...

I have to have at least one cup a day or else I get headaches as a withdrawal symptom


I'm like that, too, sometimes.
on Oct 26, 2004
Chip, you've inspired me...I'm off to blog!
on Oct 26, 2004
Chip, you've inspired me...I'm off to blog!


Get to bloggin!
on Oct 26, 2004
Great article, chip!

I loved reading about how you went from a coffee virgin to a raging coffee whore in such a short period of time!

Not the really expensive 100% Kona, but the stuff that comes in the white bags and is at leat 10%.


Did it have a lion on the bag?

I drink coffee in the shower. I don't mean that I take a cup into the bathroom and put it on the sink so I can have it right after I get out. I mean, I take it into the shower with me. I put the cup on a shelf and drink it between lather, rinse, repeats.


Wow.

I really enjoy coffee, but I'm a social drinker. I won't generally make coffee just for myself. I drink it with creamer and equal. I let the kids have a touch of coffee in their milk sometimes. Of course, that could be because I started drinking coffee when I was a little kid. My family is a bunch of coffee freaks, and when I was just a wee little one, I would go around and drink the cold bit of coffee that family members left in the bottom of their cups (sick, huh?). Coffee's good stuff.
on Oct 26, 2004
Did it have a lion on the bag?


We never bought Lion Coffee, but Cafe Haleiwa proudly serves it! A few of our other favorite restaurants on the island served it. Lion Coffee is pretty good.

We usually drank the white bagged Kona coffee that you can get in the PX and the Commissary. We'd usually get some flavored stuff and some regular morning blend type stuff.

My family is a bunch of coffee freaks, and when I was just a wee little one, I would go around and drink the cold bit of coffee that family members left in the bottom of their cups (sick, huh?).


HAHA! Sometimes, when I come back to the office after a class or two, I'll see that I have a little left in my cup. It's either walk to the mens room and dump it or drink it before I get a fresh hot cup. Usually I just drink the cold stuff. Sometimes, I'll just add in the hot stuff, but not always...

Coffee's good stuff.


That's for sure!
on Oct 26, 2004
I have to be perky for 600plus middle schoolers who are currently undergoing puberty and beginning to show signs of just why the "one child policy" is a bad idea.

So if I don't have my thermos steaming with a black, hold sugar and cream cup of joe, then well I am pretty fucked!
on Oct 26, 2004
I drink coffee in the shower.


Dude that is addiction!

While in the Navy I spent some time in Italy and Spain, Long nights got me hooked on expresso. All the caffine of a cup of coffee in a shot!

We would go to the cafe and get a couple of shots before a night on the town and then a couple on the way back to make sure we were in good enough shape to get back on base without any hassle. Since then I have purchased my own espresso maker and I do grind my own beans for it and I have moved to lattes so I can enjoy my cup a little longer.

When I brew Cafe Americano I have done as you have and moved down to the Budweiser of coffee, foldgers.
on Oct 27, 2004
Wow, you're a freak! Just kidding. Glad you've come over to the dark side, though you might be a bit far over for my taste.

When I was in Fiji, I secreted along two six packs of mini Coke (the 6 oz size) because I was afraid that missing my morning coffee would make me like Dharma (sorry Dharma!). Turned out that the Fijians we were with drank it anyway, so I secreted the Coke back out. (My team leader would've been P.I.S.S.E.D. (and I don't mean in the British way) if she'd seen it.)

My current fix is my espresso maker--we had a lot of duplicate wedding gifts that we returned to one store for a lot of credit. So H let me buy an espresso maker and I've been a happy wife for the two or three months we've had it. I use the generic brand of chocolate syrup to make mochas and a friend got me a bottle of Evil Starbucks caramel syrup for making buttercaramel lattes. I do, however, make pots of tea when I'm feeling more contemplative or peaceful.

Like I always say, if you're in the PacNW, come by and I'll make you a cup. You choose how you take the poison. (But if you take it in my shower, you're not invited back.)

Cheers.

-A.
on Oct 27, 2004
New Page 1

Chip-

    You may recall that I was never much of a coffee drinker... too damned lazy. There was a time I enjoyed a cup or two, but it was drinking greywar's evil brews that ruined it for me. I still will have an occasional cup, but it is definitely not a habit. I prefer downers, anyway! JD for President!

Oh, and before you comment about the thermos I used to carry on the plane, that was actually Oh Deng broth! (For those who don't know... Oh Deng is a dumpling made from crushed fish bones, and the broth is great!)

on Oct 27, 2004

My Grandfather boiled a kettle of water and drank coffee every morning of his adult life.  I used to sit on the other side of the bar from him, eating breakfast and just enjoying the company.  When he passed away 9 years ago, I asked my Grandma if I could have one of his coffee cups.  So now, one of my favorite possessions in this world is a coffee stained & chipped blue coffee cup with an advertisement for pig feed on it. 


But I didn't really drink much coffee until I'd been in the Army for a couple years and I went to the Primary Leadership Development Course (PLDC) in Ft. Drum, NY.  It's a course that's related to a soldier's promotion to... wait... you covered this already huh?  Unlike you, I didn't get hooked on it after that.  Once I finished the school, I opted to move away from that constant urge to piss and those rabbit sized turds.  


When I got to Italy, I allowed myself to become hopelessly dependent on Capuccini... If you want the best beef you go to the United States, if you want the best Vodka you go to Russia, if you want the best caffeine fix, you go to Italy.  'nuff said. 


Upon my return to the states, I quickly found that it's nearly impossible to get the same quality capuccini here in the U.S., so I gave it up.  I still LOVE the smell of coffee, but I don't like the idea of some chemical having power over me.  (That's also why I never took up smoking.   


Someday I'll take up drinking something akin to coffee or tea or maybe even bottled water... That way, when I have kids and grandkids of my own, we'll have an excuse to gather around the bar in the kitchen & spend quality time together to start out the day...      

on Oct 27, 2004
Upon my return to the states, I quickly found that it's nearly impossible to get the same quality capuccini here in the U.S., so I gave it up.


I found the same thing after my return from Europe. However I was determined to get that quality here in the states. I bought a Cappachino maker and through trial and error finnaly figured it out.

So now here I set at 9am with a large coffee cup full of latte in front of me as I write this.

The secret bean for making cappachino, latte, or expresso at home is Lavazza.

Link

on Oct 27, 2004
Actually guys...It is possible. My name is Brian...and i'm a coffee addict!
I have been on the brown pony for almost 25 years now. At first it was a once in a while thing...then a weekend thing, then a morning thin....ah screw it.
The point is that you have to get the right beans. Not just any "Expresso" does the trick. The Grind is the second most important. You want it ground down to at least "expresso" grind, but i prefer Turkish. It basically pulverizes the beans to dust.

Here are a few companies that do expresso justice.

1. Rimini. Italian company that sells all over the US. They have the best Expresso roast i have ever had.
2. Caribou Expresso Roast. All you folks in the upper midwest and east know who i'm talking about...the ANTI Starbucks! These guys have a good expresso as well as a not to shabby French.
3. Beans and Brews. My hometown fave! A small chain in SLC that makes a blend called Expresso Fritalia (1/2 Italian Expresso 1/2 Dark French) that i take on the road with me on every trip. (in fact i'm drinking it right now) they ship UPS too.
4. Gevalia. Not too shabby Italian dark roast. They ship overnight to anywhere in the world.

Anybody have a personal fave? List it!
on Oct 27, 2004
I have to be perky for 600plus middle schoolers who are currently undergoing puberty and beginning to show signs of just why the "one child policy" is a bad idea.

So if I don't have my thermos steaming with a black, hold sugar and cream cup of joe, then well I am pretty fucked!


My students are post high school, 20-something service memebers that are new to the service. And I have to be ready for them in the same way. No coffee = bad attitude!

I drink coffee in the shower.


Dude that is addiction!


Yes, it is...HAHAHA!

When I brew Cafe Americano I have done as you have and moved down to the Budweiser of coffee, foldgers.


That's right!

My current fix is my espresso maker--we had a lot of duplicate wedding gifts that we returned to one store for a lot of credit. So H let me buy an espresso maker and I've been a happy wife for the two or three months we've had it. I use the generic brand of chocolate syrup to make mochas and a friend got me a bottle of Evil Starbucks caramel syrup for making buttercaramel lattes. I do, however, make pots of tea when I'm feeling more contemplative or peaceful.


We've toyed with the idea of getting an espresso maker. Just never got around to it.

Like I always say, if you're in the PacNW, come by and I'll make you a cup. You choose how you take the poison. (But if you take it in my shower, you're not invited back.)


BWHAHAHAHAHA! I only take the coffee in the shower with me at home (or barracks, but that was my home for 18 months).

There was a time I enjoyed a cup or two, but it was drinking greywar's evil brews that ruined it for me.


I've been waiting for him to comment. I loved his coffee. When you poured it into a cup, you could stick a spoon in it and the spoon wouldn't touch the side of the cup. It was thick! And so good...

Oh, and before you comment about the thermos I used to carry on the plane, that was actually Oh Deng broth!


Yeah, I knew about the broth... like that's better than coffee...pfft!

Well, gotta run to class... I'll answer the other comments when I get back... it's coffee talk time.... you all talk amongst yourselves....
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