Funeral Detail - 19 Jan 06

Published on January 20, 2006 By chiprj In Blogging

I found out about the funeral for 19 Jan during the Tuesday practice prior. We had a brand new group of Marines show up to practice that day, so we decided to get one of them involved right away. According to the email, we would not have to fold the flag at the funeral, but we practiced it anyway. After talking him through what we would do at the ceremony and practicing the folding a few times, I sent him home with a flag to practice with.

On Thursday morning, I called the civilian in charge of casualty affairs here on the base. He is our point of contact for all funerals. He is also the holder of the keys for all the vehicles we use. He asked me to give him an hour and call back to arrange for a vehicle. The rest of the morning, I had no luck contacting him at all. I finally called the overall NCOIC and told her that I was not having any luck with the keys. She ended up getting ahold of someone further up the personnel chain and got me a vehicle. That was the good news. The bad news was that I was getting a 15 passenger van to drive out to Salinas in the middle of the day. And it was empty on gas. And it had been empty for two days because the last funeral crew didn't fill it up when they turned it in and the civilian in charge didn't fill it up after it was turned in. So, I was going to have to stop for gas on the way.

When I picked up the van, I also found that it was empty of white gloves. Luckily, I keep my white gloves and just wash them at home. But the Marine that was coming with me did not have a set. We got lucky again when we found that one of the other crew members showed up to practice early and happened to have a set of white gloves in his car. So, we jumped in the big ass van and headed out.

Originally we had planned to leave at 1245 in order to arrive in Salinas no later than 1330 for the 1400 services. This timeline was not really hurt by having to stop for gas, so I wasn't worried.

That's when I got a phone call from the NCOIC. Apparently, the ceremony was changed from 1400 to 1300 and the funeral home director never called us to let us know of the change. He told her that if we could get there in time, they'd really appreciate it, but if we couldn't, that it was their fault and would understand. They said that they would start at 1300 and if we could get there by 1330, we'd still be able to render the honors. I still had no choice but to stop for gas, but instead of filling up the big ass van's big ass gas tank, I just put in what I needed and moved on.

As we drove, I explained to the Marine that we'd probably have to improvise a bit. So, I told him that he should get the bugle ready in the van and when we got there, he'd likely have to pick his own spot to play in. I told him to be visible but not directly in front of the main body of people. That way he could be seen, without distracting anyone.

When we got there, we were met near the gate by one of the cemetery employees. He pointed out that they were in the far corner of the cemetery. We parked some distance away and got out of the van. I was met on the road by the funeral director, who couldn't apologize enough to me (it bothered me that he apologized for making me look bad, as that made me believe that he hadn't owned up to the family that we were late due to his fault, not ours). He said they were ready for me and that we should start as soon as we were ready. I had a moment to point out a spot for the bugler to stand and told him to get ready to play right away.

As soon as I saw him get the bugle out of the case, I moved up to the casket and saluted. The flag was pre-folded and resting on the head of the casket (turned the wrong direction). After Taps was complete, I picked up the flag and turned it the correct way. I then marched over to the widow and presented the flag. I then saluted and moved back to near the head of the casket.

The funeral director came forward and thanked everyone for coming. Everyone got up and started milling about, so I turned back to the road and signaled for the bugler to follow me out. We were met one more time by the funeral director as he apologized one more time. We then marched back to the van and headed out.

I felt really guilty for performing what felt like a "drive by" on the funeral and was angry that we were late, regardless of it being our fault or not. It's part of the duty to be there for the ceremony, or at least part of it. There have been a number of services where part of the ceremony was done inside a chapel and part done at the grave side where we waited outside and were visible only for the second half, but that is by design, not mistake. I've never hopped out of the van mid-ceremony and performed because people were waiting for me. And I never want to have to again.

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Comments

Dr Guy

on Jan 20, 2006

A very heavy emotional toll on you, and yet your worry is for the family. Always. I read them all, and I know you take them very seriously, and with the utmost respect.

Keep writing. And I wish you well. You do provide a great service to the family.

pseudosoldier

on Jan 21, 2006

It was certainly unfortunate that someone else's improper planning may have reduced the honors rendered to this service member and his family. You did everything you could to do your duty, and you performed well under less than optimal circumstances. Strive to ensure that you don't have to do something like that again, sure, but be proud that you performed so well for them, as you did.

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