This is going to turn into a multiparter because there's just too many for one post. For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed playing jokes on people. I try to stay good-natured and there are lines that I won't cross, but a good laugh at another's expense is a good day for me. A good laugh at my expense is also a good day. I think I'm a good sport and I don't mind them being played on me - too much. I can take a joke; I just like doing them better. At the last place I worked, we ...

This is going to turn into a multiparter because there's just too many for one post. For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed playing jokes on people. I try to stay good-natured and there are lines that I won't cross, but a good laugh at another's expense is a good day for me. A good laugh at my expense is also a good day. I think I'm a good sport and I don't mind them being played on me - too much. I can take a joke; I just like doing them better. At the last place I worked, we ...

Another example of how wrong I can be. A friend of mine came to visit one night and noticed that one of my dogs only had three legs (we had three maltese at the time). He also noticed that we babied this dog above and beyond what he'd ever seen a person do before. He asked about the dog and I told him that one night, there was a fire while we were sleeping and if it hadn't been for this dogs barking, we'd have slept through and never made it out. He then asked if that was how the dog lo...

Another example of how wrong I can be. A friend of mine came to visit one night and noticed that one of my dogs only had three legs (we had three maltese at the time). He also noticed that we babied this dog above and beyond what he'd ever seen a person do before. He asked about the dog and I told him that one night, there was a fire while we were sleeping and if it hadn't been for this dogs barking, we'd have slept through and never made it out. He then asked if that was how the dog lo...

OK, so another installment of workplace fun. What smells like shoe polish? OK, so the same guy we hit with the frozen rank and quest to find said rank was also our target for the shoe polish. We had two phones where we worked. A red (secure) phone and a black (unsecure) phone. I think you can see where this is going. We spread shoe polish all over the transmitter and reciever on the black phone. Then I drew the short straw to be the guy that had to brief our 'mark' while the rest o...

OK, so another installment of workplace fun. What smells like shoe polish? OK, so the same guy we hit with the frozen rank and quest to find said rank was also our target for the shoe polish. We had two phones where we worked. A red (secure) phone and a black (unsecure) phone. I think you can see where this is going. We spread shoe polish all over the transmitter and reciever on the black phone. Then I drew the short straw to be the guy that had to brief our 'mark' while the rest o...

Freezing Stuff - This is one of the oldest Army practical jokes around. One of the best targets for freezing was the old BDU cap (cold weather style). You could fill it up with water and it wouldn't leak very quickly. Plenty of time to put it in a freezer. After a few hours, you have a hat filled with a big block of ice. Very nice. Another thing you can do, and this applies to both the summer caps and the berets, is stuff it into a gatorade bottle and fill it up with water. We did that...

Freezing Stuff - This is one of the oldest Army practical jokes around. One of the best targets for freezing was the old BDU cap (cold weather style). You could fill it up with water and it wouldn't leak very quickly. Plenty of time to put it in a freezer. After a few hours, you have a hat filled with a big block of ice. Very nice. Another thing you can do, and this applies to both the summer caps and the berets, is stuff it into a gatorade bottle and fill it up with water. We did that...

So, back to the workplace jokes. I already wrote about taking advantage of people that leave their computer unlocked here Link . Here are some of my other favorites from my last workplace - SUSLAK. If lighting isn't too good in the office, you can use scotch tape on a filing cabinet or desk drawer. It's pretty easy to get around, once it's discovered (a sharp nail or pair of scissors cut through instantly) but it's annoying to peel all the little pieces of tape off. Can be done with s...

So, back to the workplace jokes. I already wrote about taking advantage of people that leave their computer unlocked here Link . Here are some of my other favorites from my last workplace - SUSLAK. If lighting isn't too good in the office, you can use scotch tape on a filing cabinet or desk drawer. It's pretty easy to get around, once it's discovered (a sharp nail or pair of scissors cut through instantly) but it's annoying to peel all the little pieces of tape off. Can be done with s...

I've known a lot of people that fit this mold. There are many points here that I like to think fit me... MILITARY HUMOR: REAL SERGEANTS: 1. Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word. 2. Have a spine. 3. Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument. 4. Can see in the Dark. 5. Have eyes in the back of their heads. 6. Still don't trust the Russians. 7. Still hate the French. 8. Don't know how to be politically correc...

I've known a lot of people that fit this mold. There are many points here that I like to think fit me... MILITARY HUMOR: REAL SERGEANTS: 1. Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word. 2. Have a spine. 3. Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument. 4. Can see in the Dark. 5. Have eyes in the back of their heads. 6. Still don't trust the Russians. 7. Still hate the French. 8. Don't know how to be politically correc...

When I worked in the grocery store, I would superglue change to the floor in our back room. Most employees came through our back room to get to the break room, so this supplied me with a continuous parade of people that would try to pick up the change. I did this on the sales floor a few times, too. I had to quit after I watched a guy spend 5 minutes on his hands and knees trying to pry a quarter off the floor with his car keys. I also used the old fishing line and dollar bill trick...

When I worked in the grocery store, I would superglue change to the floor in our back room. Most employees came through our back room to get to the break room, so this supplied me with a continuous parade of people that would try to pick up the change. I did this on the sales floor a few times, too. I had to quit after I watched a guy spend 5 minutes on his hands and knees trying to pry a quarter off the floor with his car keys. I also used the old fishing line and dollar bill trick...

If I could get a person 'on the line' with my half a head of lettuce story, I usually would reel them in with this one... Every day, we took turns buying a two liter bottle of Coke to drink in the produce back room. This was my day, so I was standing in line at the checkout waiting my turn. The old lady in front of me glanced back at me and then did a double take. She had a weird look in her eyes, and since I was in my uniform (a green vest, peach tie, and a name tag) I figured in the n...